Transl. “Ambition can be a good thing”

I turned 7-months-old last week, and here’s my score sheet:

• 70% = Sitting upright without support
• 100% = Crawling on my belly
• 100% = Standing on all 4
• 20% = Moving on all 4
• 90% = Climbing and getting on my knees
• 30% = Climbing to a standing position
• 00% = Moving around using the furniture
• 00% = Walking
• 40% = Using a sippy cup for water

I have a 3 months plan for walking before the holidays:
This month, I’m working on moving on all 4, and starting to climb the furniture.
Next month, I’ll be learning to move around standing using the furniture.
Once I manage that, I’ll try walking.

I should be ready to do some real damage, once they take that Christmas tree out.

- Orly xOx

F – Don’t eat all the cookies, leave some for your son.
E – I’m only eating the parts with chocolate chips, because the heat in the car melted them all, and I don’t want him to get chocolate all over himself.
F – Ah… So, then, you’re really sacrificing yourself to eat all this chocolate.
E – Wellmmmyeahmmm…

***
On the road to vacation:
F – Oh!…
E – Eeehh…!
F – … Did we get it?
E – Hum… yeah. I saw him bounce on the hood.
F – Poor little bird.
E – Must be rough, getting hit at 100km/h like that.
F – He must have been like: “Eeee, I’ll pass, I’ll pass, I’ll pass… oop, no.”

***
F – You think he likes that toy caterpillar BECAUSE it makes that much noise?

***
E (Sitting on the toilet.)
X (Enters the bathroom.)
E – Hey Xavier. Say, would you like to sit and pee on your potty? Like mommy?
X (Nods.)
E – Come here, I’ll take your diaper off so you can sit on your potty.
X (Approaches.)
E (Bends and takes his diaper off.)
E – Oh s**t!
X (Runs off to the living room, tushie full of poo.)
E – Frank! Help!
F (in the other room) – What the…?!

***
X – Brown!
E – What, Xavier? What’s brown?
X – Brown… Dora.
E – Ah! Yes, that’s right. That’s because Dora is latino-american.
X – Okay!

***
In the car:
X – Sun!
F – The sun?
X – Sun! There.
E – There’s no sun, Xavier, it’s evening… ah, that’s a star, there. It’s a star you see. It’s pretty, isn’t it?
X – Yes. ‘tar!
F – In fact, you’re right, Xavier, that star IS a sun.

Orly discovering something new. A baby’s every day fare is wonderful.

Transl. “Our very own Peter Pan”

I can recognize a sweet deal when I have it in front of me.

If I continue progressing toward adulthood like I’ve been doing for the last two years, I’m going to have to handle all sorts of complicated stuff. Eventually, I’ll even have to learn maths and cook dinner and fill out tax forms. It’s going to get ugly.

Turning around the other way, there’s my baby sister. She’s got five star service on a silver platter – she’s getting dressed, fed, washed and wiped by other people; the only effort she has to put in is for playtime.

So I’ve decided to stop growing up for a while. I play it cool at daycare – no milk bottles, no pacifier, no help to get my shoes off, etc. – but I don’t want things to change at home. When I’m here, I’ll be a baby like my sister. This is why I’m being reluctant to learning new skills, like getting dressed, washing up, using the potty… Far easier if my parents do it for me. I’m also hanging on to my bottles of warm milk, my pacifier and my doggy; all of those are tearfully requested in the event of daily frustrations and boo-boos.

I think mom is onto me, though, because the “big boy” term is starting to come up pretty often at playtime. Suddenly, my pirates are all talking about going to pee in the pot, Elmo refuses bottles and requests a glass while we’re playing picnic, there are library books about getting dressed laying around… I don’t know where this is all going, but I just know there’s a catch.

Mom is sneaky that way.

- Xavier