The Stories of our Lives

I really wanted to be one of those moms who didn’t let their baby cry at night, but Xavier’s now 7 months old, and nightime doesn’t show any progres of late. In fact, it seemed recently to have been deteriorating. I know he’s able to sleep through the night (he did it twice since his birth) but something’s not right. He wakes up too often, feeds at closer times than during the day (I thought maybe that was because I was breast-feeding him at night instead of the bottle, but still…) and I have to go take care of him for him to go back to sleep.

I’ve been online to forums reading about both sides (let him cry or not) and was pointed to some very helpful discussions at Maman pour la vie (French) by my friend Christine. It convinced me I had to try something, as much for Xavier’s sake as ours. So I decided I’d have to tough it out for a couple of nights, and put my foot down (or rather, hang on to the bed post to keep myself from rushing into Xavier’s room). I’m putting my own plan into action, and seeing how it develops over the next 3 nights.

Opération Bonne nuit
Night 1 – The initiation

Objectives: No milk, no picking up.

8h: Breast fed Xavier, who fell asleep drinking. Put him to bed.
12h30: Baby started crying. Went in and gave him back his pacifier and plush toy, shhh-ing. He turned over and went back to sleep. (So far, that’s normal behaviour – first wake is the easy one.)

2h30: Baby started crying. Went in and gave him back his pacifier and plush toy, shhh-ing. Put back his blanket. Baby still crying, but that’s normal yet, he’s not panicked or anything, just a little mad and sad.
Gone out of the room for 5 minutes, came back once to shhh and soft-speak outside his door. Went in after that, gave him back his pacifier – he already had it in hand, trying to figure out how to put it back in on his own (progress!) – and his plush toy, stroked his head shhh-ing. He quieted down after a minute and I went out.
Gone out of the room for 10 minutes. He was quiet for 2 then started crying again. Went back to shhh and soft-speak outside his door two or three times, mostly at first. He wasn’t panicked, just somewhat angry and sad. He had some moments where he was quiet, obviously out of fear of loosing his pacifier again and pulling back on it.
Went back in after that. Gave him back his pacifier (he had the plush toy still) and shhh-ed, stroked his head and explained in whispers I was leaving again to let him fall asleep on his own like a big boy, etc, etc. He quieted down, but let out a piercing scream when I made a move to go away. I came back a second more to stroke his head and whisper softly – he quieted at once – and left.
He was quiet for 2 minutes, then went supersonic for 1, and quieted back. I heard shuffling and a little soft whining at first, like he was going to sleep, and he’s been quiet since. I’ll check on him, but he’s surely asleep, and I’m going back to bed. So far it’s none so bad, I think!

3h20: Damnit! Stupid cat went and made an object fall. Baby started crying. I went to give him his pacifier back, and he turned over and went back to sleep. Phew!

4h25: Baby started crying. Went in to give him his pacifier back. He rolled over and started trying to get back to sleep (seems like he got the message last time already). I tiptoed out.

6h28: Xavier came awake minutes before the alarm went off. Heard him yawning and doing his little talking noises. He was very calm and happy enough. He had his bottle at 7h – we’d had trouble giving it to him in the last days – and polished off the whole thing like a champion at once, without a peep or a move.

So the first night was very good, I’d say – better than I expected, and better than recent nights, at the very least. We’ll keep this up and watch how it progresses.

Lastly, a related funny article I found via the “Maman pour la vie” forum : STTN.

PS. Little add-on: I just put him down for his nap (he was still awake when I did), a little before 9h, and he didn’t cry or anything! He’s already asleep!