Orly has now grown an inch of soft thin and pale hair, which stands straight up on the top of her head. She’s my sweet little chick!

***
E – Xavier, what are you doing there?
X (gets out from behind the bookcase).
E – Get out of there, little man.
X (without a word, slips back into the small space).
E – And of course, in another language, that means “Go back to this place immediately”.

***
(Watching the new 90210 spin-off. One of the teen characters is taking out the trash to the sidewalk.)
E – Check it, the other girl will have stayed there in the street because she doesn’t want to go back home, because her mom’s a drunk.
(The character discovers the other girl asleep in her car in front of his house.)
Friend Phil – (Laugh) I think we’ve watched too many teen series.

***
I’ve gotten an email fwd on the subject of being a mom. There’s a line in it I’ve liked:
Before being a mom…
I hadn’t known the feeling of having my heart on the outside of my chest.

***
The main thing about babies is their lack of spoken communication. What can sometimes be quite maddening when there is no apparent source for incessant crying, can also become frighteningly cute when you realize how much raw emotion appears through their sweet round eyes… and a tiny smile.

***
Desserts must have been invented as bargaining method to make toddlers eat.

***
E – I ordered a copy of the Canadian Food Guide. It’s free on the government site.
F – If we separate from Canada, we’ll have the Quebec Food Guide: poutine, pizza, guedille…

***
Sesame Street on TV. Xavier is in his mute zombie mode, eyes glued to the screen. I’m following the sketch about the word “unanimous” with Elmo, LL Cool J, the garbage puppet and the little girl one.
Suddenly, Xavier surfaces from his televisual torpor and exclaims: “Dirty, dirty, dirty!” while pointing at the garbage puppet.
Apparently, we weren’t focusing on the same thing.

***
While watching “The Besieged Fortress”, France-Quebec production depicting a termites/ants war:
[Note: It's a sort of documentary disguised as a story. It's really well done: images are superb, action is well paced so we don't get bored, and we learn a lot - it helps that they chose nomad ants.]

E – These termites sure aren’t leftists.
F – More like socialists extremists.

I initially thought these nomad carnivorous ants were sort of gross meanies: they eat everything that enters their travel “column”, without leaving crumbs. Then, I realized humans were at least as voracious: they hunt everything. Worst, their food production generates more debris; while the ants can be considered cleaners, in a way, the humans pollute and threaten the ecosystem.
I was a bit more grossed out by the humans than by the carnivorous ants, for a couple seconds, at this moment.
Then, the bugs attacked a snake on screen. Eerch.

F – Don’t eat all the cookies, leave some for your son.
E – I’m only eating the parts with chocolate chips, because the heat in the car melted them all, and I don’t want him to get chocolate all over himself.
F – Ah… So, then, you’re really sacrificing yourself to eat all this chocolate.
E – Wellmmmyeahmmm…

***
On the road to vacation:
F – Oh!…
E – Eeehh…!
F – … Did we get it?
E – Hum… yeah. I saw him bounce on the hood.
F – Poor little bird.
E – Must be rough, getting hit at 100km/h like that.
F – He must have been like: “Eeee, I’ll pass, I’ll pass, I’ll pass… oop, no.”

***
F – You think he likes that toy caterpillar BECAUSE it makes that much noise?

***
E (Sitting on the toilet.)
X (Enters the bathroom.)
E – Hey Xavier. Say, would you like to sit and pee on your potty? Like mommy?
X (Nods.)
E – Come here, I’ll take your diaper off so you can sit on your potty.
X (Approaches.)
E (Bends and takes his diaper off.)
E – Oh s**t!
X (Runs off to the living room, tushie full of poo.)
E – Frank! Help!
F (in the other room) – What the…?!

***
X – Brown!
E – What, Xavier? What’s brown?
X – Brown… Dora.
E – Ah! Yes, that’s right. That’s because Dora is latino-american.
X – Okay!

***
In the car:
X – Sun!
F – The sun?
X – Sun! There.
E – There’s no sun, Xavier, it’s evening… ah, that’s a star, there. It’s a star you see. It’s pretty, isn’t it?
X – Yes. ‘tar!
F – In fact, you’re right, Xavier, that star IS a sun.

I’ll bring Xavier to the St.Lawrence river this summer, at the scenic lookout near here, and I will let him wet his feet in the water. And I will have to teach him “yuck, river water, bad” when he’ll want to taste it; it sucks.

***
Xavier (who was just comforted after falling down the stairs) – Mommyyyy?
E – Yes, Xavier? Now’s the time to ask anything you want, sweetheart, we’ll give you everything you’d like right now.
X – Errh…

***
I passed by a white Vertdure truck (company that treats lawns to be greener) on a stroll with the baby. On the truck, above their odd (and a little distorted) male butterfly-fairy mascot, the words “No pesticides” were lettered, and they had painted white over them – a little like using liquid paper to erase pen ink. Hum. Not quite subtle.

***
I use Garnier Fructis shampoo these days, and I have to use my teeth to open the badly-designed bottle spout, so I wake up each morning to the taste of a shampoo (that stinks a little, let’s admit it).

***
E – The ant colony, in the back of the yard. It’s getting sort of impressive.
F – Yeah… We should do something to get rid of it.
E – Uh-huh. Of course, we could always try my grandfather’s old fashioned trick: “You take a can of oil, …”

Stranger woman at the reno store – Look at that baby! He’s a curious one, ain’t he? His eyes are round as balls.
E – Oh, it’s a baby girl – see the pink pacifier? (YOU, however, look like a guy.)

***
Annoying: Heard Unison on the radio 2 days ago – yeah, I listen to the soft rock station – and it’s still stuck in my head, even after running the complete Baby Lilly CD twice.

***
It’s a good thing that I grew up around construction fields and construction workers, so I’m very understanding about the healthy noise of a construction zone. Otherwise I would really be cursing about all the (accursed damned baby-waking noisy) construction on our new development street.

***
Yes, we bought the biodegradable diapers. We had all the best intentions in the world, we were even ready to start accepting their higher cost. Everyone needs to put an effort in, after all. So we wrapped our toddler in this weird coloured giant diaper, telling ourselves it was probably a good quality product, after all, in regards to the price. Go go green! and all that.

A few hours later:
E – What’s smelling? Do you smell this?
F – Yes. I dunno… (Moves around, sniffs.) It’s Xavier.
E – Xavier?
F – His diaper!
E – Eaarrgh. That’s such a weird odour.
F – It’s foul.
E – Poo?
F – No, it’s just his biodegradable diaper, with pee in it.
E – (Pinches nose.)

We love the environment, we do. Just… not like that, in the end. We love Xavier more.

(… Somebody want to buy half a pack of eco-friendly diapers? … No?)

At the reno store:
E – I didn’t quite expect to have trouble finding a garden gazebo in June.
Clerk – Yeah. People all rushed in for those in spring – I guess they got sick of winter. The store has trouble re-stocking, so they’re pushing to get fireplaces in, now. Should be in soon.
E – You know what? I saw you had a fireplace I loved at half price in February, but I gave birth later that same day and, by the time I could get back to the store in March, BBQs were out and I missed my chance.
Clerk – Good thing those will be back soon then, eh?
E – Yeah. But I was hoping to get it on sale again, so I’ll have to wait for the end-of-season prices. When will that be: september or october, do you think?
Crazy commerce.

***
Who would have thought a shade of taupe/beige would be the most difficult colour to pick? Jane should have a hotline.

***
***
“You know all the pamphlets they give you at the hospital, that say your baby will die if you let him sleep on his tummy?”

***
E – Xavier, eat some chicken, please. Yum, yum, chicken?
X – No.
E – Mmm, yummy chicken! … Taste it, at the least.
X – NO.
F – Here, Xav, a SCAL-LOP.
X – … A-LOP! (He tastes, then:) Mmmm!! More?
F – Here, more.
X – A-lop! (He chews.) More?
F – There you go. Another scallop (which is in fact chicken cut to the size of a scallop).
X – Yum, yum! (He swallows.) More?
F – It’s chicken, Xavier. See, there’s lots of chicken already in your plate.
X – Chi-kennnn!
He starts stuffing all the little pieces of chicken one by one in his mouth. Oy, the tricks we have to pull…

***
It’s hard to determine which kid is learning the fastest these days. Xavier is absorbing language and concepts like a big noisy snowball, while Orly’s development – prehension, motor and social skills – is more subtle, but no less quick, because she’s starting from scratch, after all.

***
X – Allô mamaaan.
E – Allô Xavier. Oh, you smell nice, Xavier. You just had a good bath?
X – Yes… (He thinks, then adds:) …water.
E – With water? Wow. To hell with expenses, eh?
X – Yes.

Xavier is almost 6 times Orly’s age. Weird.
***
It’s hilarious that my mommy planner calendar comes with icon stickers labeled “personnal time”.
***
Xavier, it sucks for you that the most beautiful girl in the world had to be your sister!
***
Surely there’s a daddy Einstein out there to invent glow-in-the-dark pacifiers?
***
Black chocolate, chocolate coated cakes, chocolate chip cookies, chocolate ice cream, chocolate bars. We wish for a chocolate treat every day!
***
Okay. So it’s your usual small nursings every 2.5 hours; or a big nursing every 4-5 hours, but then you spit up milk every time you’re propped up vertical. Good to know. (Oh, the smell…)
***
I found out I have an endless liking for pink. I can dress my baby girl in pink every day, and it’s always awesomely cute.
***
X – More!
F – More egg?
X – Yes.
E – Wouldn’t you like toast, Xavier?
X – No.
E – Banana?
X – No.
E – Grapes?
X – No. Egg.
F – You want more egg?
X – More! Egg.
(And, yes, he ate a second whole egg, the little glutton.)